153404

Joke of the Day

"[robbery in progress in the store I'm at] *quickly remembers training from karate school* *bows to robber* *is kicked in head so hard*"

"Told my 4 yo that his hamster died and that was in heaven with God. 4yo: Why would God want a dead hamster?"

"Me: this a rush song? Bartender: yeah, you a fan? Me: does this answer your questions? *lifts shirt to reveal giant tattoo that says ""no""*"

"Ive noticed that black people love boomboxes Im not racist or anything, its just their stereotype"

"I painted my computer black now it doesn't work I painted it white to make it work again now the whole system is corrupt - daddypig-ncsu"

"My girlfriend's ex was a clown I guess I have some pretty big shoes to fill."

"On a scale of 1 to 10 on the hungover scale I'm at ""can't handle this conversation with my mom about a hickey."""

"A woman got breast implants made of wood yesterday... It would be funny if this joke had a punchline. Wooden tit."

"What's the difference between God and Bono? God doesn't walk around thinking he's Bono."

"What's the difference between a lobster with breast implants, and a dirty bus stop? One's a crusty bus station, and the other's a busty crustacean!"