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Joke of the Day

"Side effects may include: upset stomach, diarrhea, some wolves will chase you, like 6-12 wolves, it's ok"

"What's the difference between a Toaster and Hitler? A toaster can only burn two things at once."

"Luke use the father - Nuke I am your force Yay twist on words, so funneh. My friends says i'm hilarous."

"We were making out on the couch and She's like ""Let's take this upstairs"" I'm like ""Ok you grab one side and I'll grab the other!"""

"What's the difference between getting the girlfriend pregnant and locking your keys in the car? How pissed your wife gets when you explain the coat hanger."

"Why are the landmarks in Paris quarantined? Because they are parasites"

"Who has two thumbs and a concealed identity? Disguise!"

"What's the worst thing about kidnapping and raping a young child to death in a dark alley? Getting blood all over your clown suit"

"If a lobsters come in on lobster boats, and clams come in on clam boats, what do crabs come in on? The captain's dinghy."

"If people on Twitter found a horses' head in their bed at least 3/4 of them would get a selfie with it before calling the cops....."