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Joke of the Day

"We were making out on the couch and She's like ""Let's take this upstairs"" I'm like ""Ok you grab one side and I'll grab the other!"""

"If a black guy, a Mexican, and a redneck are all in a car together, who's driving? The police."

"Mrs Jones: Now remember children travel is very good for you. It broadens the mind. Betty muttering: If you're anything to go by that's not all it broadens!"

"what did they call the disc jockey who kept playing the same songs again and again? DJ Vu"

"It just seems crazy that the final apocalypse could be started by a guy who says ""You're fired"" every time he launches a nuke."

"What do you call it when crows make noise? A caw-cawphony"

"How am I supposed to show a girl I like her, if I can't even make her a mix tape anymore?"

"If two vegans fight is it still considered beef? Sorry for the unoriginal joke, have an invisible flying potato."

"Why did the couple bring a melon to their honeymoon? Because they cantaloupe..."

"How do you make a baby drink? You stick it in a blender."