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Joke of the Day

"Obi-wan: *holding baby* Let's make her a famous princess Droid: What about the other baby? Obi-wan:*shrugs* Dump him in a desert somewhere"

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer recently. I don't know what he laced them with, but I'm still tripping."

"And that, class is why we keep our mouths shut whilst changing a sewer pump."

"What kind of noise annoys an oyster? A noisey noise annoys an oyster!"

"She was only a moonshine-maker's daughter... ... but I loved her still."

"I heard reports of a white haired man in a strange outfit going around emptying his sack in children's bedrooms across the country. Which is crazy because I heard Jimmy Saville was dead."

"You guys ever try boiled pasta? It's not as crunchy but it's alright"

"I wonder what Ethiopian hipsters post on Instagram... But it sure isn't their food..."

"We have a strange custom in our office. The food has names there. Yesterday for example I got me a sandwich out of the fridge and its name was ""Kevin"""

"Life is like a bowl of soup. You only get blown if you're hot."