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Joke of the Day

"And that, class is why we keep our mouths shut whilst changing a sewer pump."

"Sorry I can't pay my rent this month, I bought an apple at the airport."

"What do you call Bob Marley when he wears glasses? Rasta-four-eyes"

"Never have sex after getting a concussion. It's fucking confusing."

"The door is not ajar. It's a door, silly!"

"What do Baptists and cats have in common? You know they're doing it, you just can't catch them at it."

"What do you call a chicken with lettuce on its eyes? Chicken Ceasar salad."

"How do you get Akbar to shut up? Muzzle'm."

"*young woman walks by Wife: Wow, she looks really good, don't you think? Me: NO WAY, I'M NOT GOING TO FALL FOR THAT"

"Did you know that too much Viagra can also make you confused? Yeah - it happened to this stand-up comic - he told the room ... Thank you very much, I 'll be hard all week ..."