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Joke of the Day

"I made three snow angels the other day. I skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians."

"Why was Jimmy Glasscock bad at hide and seek? You could always see him coming."

"I used to have a job crushing cans in a soft drink factory all day. It was soda pressing."

"Don't be ashamed of who you are That's your parents' job"

"What do you call a law enforcement agency that refuses to buy it's own vehicles? The Pro-lease department"

"If we have 75 mutual friends on Facebook and we aren't friends, the likelihood that I fucking hate you is 100%. #dontrequestme"

"One day, someone will call me sir without adding ""I think we're going to have to ask you to leave."""

"When you see geese flying in V formation, have you ever noticed that one side of the V is longer than the other? Well, there's a reason for that. There are more geese on that side."

"Dad, I don't wanna sleep with my little brother anymore! - I know, son, but I already told you that we don't have enough money to bury him."

"What idiot called her a Hot Indian Girl and not a Bomb Bae"