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Joke of the Day
"This ATM will not give me free money no matter how many times I try the Konami Code."
Next Joke
"I'm making a film about emos. I really need to stop saying ""cut!"" at the end of each scene."
"Jack LaLanne died two years ago and he's still in better shape than I am."
"Scared the postman by going to the door naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived."
"The waiting list for the WiiU.... Just got shorter in Conneticut"
"My eHarmony Application was Rejected Apparently, ""My dick"" was not an acceptable answer to question #14: ""What do you like most in a woman?"""
"What's the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass."
"If I turn the food pyramid upside down it's way easier to eat out of it."
"the best true fact about 'titanic' is that on the final night of shooting the entire crew was drugged with pcp. that's not a joke"
"My niece just said ""Birds live in a birdhouse & we live in a people house!"" Cute, huh? Wrong; my niece is 26 & on trial for manslaughter."