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Joke of the Day

"My niece just said ""Birds live in a birdhouse & we live in a people house!"" Cute, huh? Wrong; my niece is 26 & on trial for manslaughter."

"WAYS TO KILL 2 BIRDS W/ 1 STONE 1 Ricochet 2 Retrieve, rethrow 3 Line up birds precisely 4 Huge boulder 5 Use lovebirds, 2nd dies of grief"

"Why isn't there a Price is Right porn yet? Nobody's willing to cum on down"

"What do you get when you mix an elf and a scientologist? Elrond Hubbard!"

"I dropped my laptop in the ocean. Now there's a dell rolling in the deep."

"Swedish Fish They aren't sweet, just sweet-ish."

"Dang girl, are you a zombie? Cuz I'm bringing you back from the dead!"

"What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits till you're 12 to come on your face."

"Just remember... you're unique... Just like everybody else."

"My dentist kept telling me i have too much acid in my diet. So I told him he has too much fire on his head."