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Joke of the Day

"I'm making a film about emos. I really need to stop saying ""cut!"" at the end of each scene."

"Mexican Magician There was a Mexican Magician standing on the stage. He said, ""On the count of three, I will make myself disappear!"" ""Uno!"" ""Dos!"" POOF! He disappeared without a tres!"

"You say tomato. I say tomato. Our eyes meet. We've decided on the perfect name for our baby"

"11% of my life has been spent watching things load 12%"

"Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?"

"Sephora is my favorite place to fart."

"Whenever I see people exercising early in the morning I think, ""Wow! I'm so impressed I'm up this early!"""

"What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her? You're getting too wrapped up in your work!"

"She's the kind of girl that boys look at twice - they can't believe it the first time."

"Why would anyone want to study the Earth and how it rotates? I guess that some people just want to see the world turn"