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Joke of the Day

"Niagara Falls A guide was showing Niagara-Falls to a man from Texas and said; I'll bet you don't have anything like this in Texas. The Texan said; nope, but in Texas we have plumbers who can fix it."

"Cats will be the hardest zombies to kill, with their -9 lives and all."

"Have you ever ordered a honeymoon salad? Lettuce Alone."

"I'm always terrified when someone knocks on the door while I'm home alone as if murderers and burglars knock first"

"Wife: ""they're disgusting, they carry diseases, they eat garbage!"" Me: are we talking about your parents, raccoons, or the kids?"

"What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms? 2 Na"

"Cinderella taught me that everything will work out just fine so long as you have unconscionably small feet."

"I wanted to drive to the shop to buy some guacamole I didn't avocado"

"I was sending out letters the other day, when all of a sudden I got a paper cut... ...Bloody envelopes!"

"Why is it impossible to mistake a penis for a vagina? Because there's a vas deference."