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Joke of the Day

"Cinderella taught me that everything will work out just fine so long as you have unconscionably small feet."

"The internet completely changed my sex life. I used to go to the bar every night trying to get laid. Now I'm just sit here masturbating."

"Did you hear about the blind circumciser? He got the sack!"

"What do you call a nun on a wheelchair Virgin mobile"

"Wanna hear a really cheesy joke? Just a warning, it's not that gouda. (made that one up during a slow night at work)"

"Why do black people always have nightmares? Because we shot the last one that had a dream."

"You know what's grosser than gross? Running through a field of dead babies and getting your toe stuck in an eye socket."

"No thanks, babies. If I'm going to let something inside of my body that's going to destroy my figure, it'll be cheese, bread and booze."

"I want to be a ""cool"" uncle, so I let my nephew play with all the things I wasn't allowed to when I was his age. Mostly knives and bleach."

"The grown up version of Tetris is loading a full dishwasher."