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Joke of the Day

"A study found that Buzzfeed is the least trusted news source in media. Serves them right for telling me I belong in Hufflepuff."

"Why did the man shut his donut shop? Why did the man close his donut shop? ...because he was fed up with the hole business!"

"Groucho Marx once said: Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read."

"[at restaurant]] 8yo: why does mom eat half of your food? Me: because.. Wife *evil glare* Me *terrified* because I don't want it."

"What happened when the computer fell on the floor? It slipped a disk."

"Pascal: Come on, we must go! Me: Man, you are really making a lot of pressure for 1 Pascal."

"Why people use Twitter: because updating 100 times a day on Facebook is not socially acceptable."

"Apparently, you still fail a roadside sobriety test if you just lay down and take a nap."

"People find it fascinating I can lift 180kg from the bench. Weird, I thought people found it easy to stand up from park benches."

"Doctor, doctor, I keep suffering from halucinations that I'm the brightest star in the night sky. Surely, you can't be Sirius."