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Joke of the Day
"What happened when the computer fell on the floor? It slipped a disk."
Next Joke
"I put a ruler under my bed every night... so that I can measure how long I slept for"
"Seems to me the guy who named sneakers was up to no good."
"Did you hear about the cow that doesn't give any milk? It's an udder disappointment."
"JUDGE: so u plan to plead insanity? ME: let me double-check with my counsel *moves 2 ft over, puts on tie, nods* ME: thats correct ur honor"
"Told my girlfriend she should scream out 'my god you're huge'!! at her gynaecologist appointment to freak out the others in the waiting room"
"For Christmas, my wife wanted something that would go from zero to 160 in 4 seconds So I bought her a new scale."
"What happens when Captain America drinks water? He becomes hydrated."
"A new study shows dolphins have great memory. Memories include ""Swam in water"" and ""Ate""."
"cost of the ice cream my kid threw a tantrum in the grocery store to get: $5 the look on his face when I ate it for dinner: priceless"