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Joke of the Day

"Doctor, doctor, I keep suffering from halucinations that I'm the brightest star in the night sky. Surely, you can't be Sirius."

"Did you hear about the Jewish couple that met during the Holocaust? They were star-crossed lovers."

"What did the Buddhist say to the Hot-Dog vendor? Make me one with everything."

"You never know what you've got until... you clean your room."

"The past, present and future walk into a bar... It was tense."

"*adult mutant ninja turtles sit in the kitchen doing taxes* you guys wanna smoke a joint? ""were not teens anymore dude"" *donatello sobs*"

"FRIEND: and this is my pug PUG: oink ME: (thinkig to self) did that pug just say ""oink"""

"I never forget a face but in your case I'll make an exception."

"The best 5 seconds of my life are when I wake up and have no idea I'm a human or have responsibilities."

"The number one problem in the world today is apathy. But who cares?"