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Joke of the Day

"Doctor, doctor, I keep suffering from halucinations that I'm the brightest star in the night sky. Surely, you can't be Sirius."

"April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring? Pilgrims"

"baby moses: [crying] mum: ""why wont he stop"" dad: ""throw him in the river lol"" mum: ""okay"" this is from a book called the bible"

"How do you know when a mongol is level? He's drooling from both corners of his mouth."

"Can't believe a woman would grow a life inside of her for 9 months and then name it Ian."

"One of the worst things you can possibly do to someone is return their text with a call."

"I saw a sign at a highschool advertising anal ogies I was confused until I saw handwritten note saying that the printer couldn't print the letter ""R"""

"What did Snoop Dogg say upon graduation as a EE major? My circuit breaker be trippin and my joint wouldn't solder..."

"I've got a new job crushing coke cans. Its soda pressing."

"Hey, Dude who flips me off for honking at him in the parking lot, your groceries are on top of your car."