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Joke of the Day

"How do you make holy water? You burn the hell out of it."

"Why did Bibi Netanyahu lie on a couch licking his balls? Likud."

"Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?... A month later he was picking his teeth"

"I couldn't work for that man anymore, especially now after what he said to me. He said, ""You're fired"""

"Yo momma cooks so bad... The flys all chipped in and fixed the screen door. >we're here all night, don't forget to tip your waiter!!"

"I was wondering why it gets bright even before I see the sun rise in the morning. Then it dawned on me."

"How can you tell the difference between normal and self-raising flour? One has parents"

"You and your happiness can go straight to Walmart. Or whereever your ""hell"" is."

"When life hands you melons, you know you're dyslexic."

"A tourist asks a Scottish villager ""Do you have a local attraction?"" ""We used to- he answers- but she got married."""