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Joke of the Day

"I couldn't work for that man anymore, especially now after what he said to me. He said, ""You're fired"""

"My older sister constantly and incorrectly uses the word ""ironic"" to describe situations in her life. It's pretty ironic."

"If men could get pregnant, not only would abortions be legal, I think McDonald's would be doing it."

"Q. Where do tired linedancers go for Breakfast? A. Ihop"

"[Interrogation room] Good cop: ""Confess and we will go easy on you"" Sweet tooth cop: ""You bes- *hears music* -ICE CREAM MAN!"" *runs outside*"

"What does amnesia mean? Someone told me but I forgot."

"What did Khloe Kardashian do for a vegetable? Broke up with James Harden"

"What do you call a koala that drives? A koalafied driver! *badum-tis*"

"I walked into this restaurant near the beach half naked and they wouldn't serve me.. It's like they've never seen a penis before."

"Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they'll paw at you a little bit then give up and go look for food.."