195675

Joke of the Day

"You and your happiness can go straight to Walmart. Or whereever your ""hell"" is."

"""When I think of you, there are some capital gains in my pants."" - sexy accountant pickup lines"

"I'm enthralled by curling. No, not enthralled. What's the word for interested in something, but not enough to look it up on Wikipedia? That."

"What is Donald Trump's favorite nation? Discrimination."

"Yo momma so fat When she went to the beach the whales started singing ""We are family!"""

"What happens to the cow on her period? She gets MOOOOOODY"

"The fact that axe handles are made of wood is the ultimate ""fuck you"" to trees."

"I don't like the song Stairway To Heaven because it implies that heaven is not wheelchair accessible."

"Where does one drown a hipster? In the mainstream."

"Reminds GOP that Obama's not a radical brown-skinned antiwar socialist giving away free healthcare. You're thinking of Jesus."