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Joke of the Day

"My boyfriend and I are into role playing-I pretend to be hotter and skinnier and he pretends not to be a Nigerian teen in an Internet cafe ."

"""only watch up to two hours of tv a day"" oh well i dont have time to watch tv because i stay on the internet all day so im good and healthy"

"What do you call a burning Bible? Holy smokes."

"Cheese is plural because you never eat just one chee"

"It's nice to feel wanted. Even if it's by the FBI."

"NSFW Why was the guitar teacher arrested? He got caught fingering a minor"

"If you laid out all of the people in the world who were ever mean to me, I could then drive my car over them."

"How do you get a witch pregnant? You fuck 'er."

"Alright, time for a Twitter spelling bee! First word: ""their"", meaning ""belongs to them."" Alright, that only leaves 14 of you left standing."

"Tofu is over rated... It's just a curd to me."