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Joke of the Day

"""only watch up to two hours of tv a day"" oh well i dont have time to watch tv because i stay on the internet all day so im good and healthy"

"What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd."

"Despite the cost of living... It still remains so popular."

"Why isn't John Oliver having sultanas in his fruitcake? Because it's the currant year."

"Hipster James Bond Movie - Oddjob uses a Fedora as a deadly throwing hat."

"I fired my masseur today. He just rubbed me the wrong way."

"If I had kids I would name them Ctrl, Alt and Delete so when they misbehaved I would just hit them all at once."

"Can't you just live in the moment, Phil? Every time we kill a bison or light a fire you have to draw it in a cave with your fancy stick."

"People who talk about me behind my back. You discussed me."

"5 female pigs + 5 male deer What do you get when you have 5 female pigs and 5 male deer? 10 sows and bucks (say it out loud)"