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Joke of the Day

"This guy thinks I'm taking down his number, but I'm really just writing this tweet."

"Wiping with only one square of toilet paper is a meditative experience.... You really get in touch with your inner self."

"Why did the welder put on a scuba tank? Someone's got to fix this sub."

"Did you hear about the man without a penis? He came out of nowhere!"

"Me: you married? Him: separated Me: your wife know about that?"

"So a local photographer started seeing a chemist from out of town... I heard their relationship was developing quite nicely."

"What do you call... What do you call a deer with no eyes? -No idea What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? -Still no idea"

"Two cannibals are eating a clown... One says to the other: ""Does this taste funny to you?"""

"People tell me I have ADHD Wanna ride bikes?"

"When I was younger MTV actually played videos. That's what the M stands for. Music. Not Maternity, Motherhood or Moron."