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Joke of the Day

"""2, 4, 6, 8!! Ride my face let's fornicate!!!"" And with that, HR banished me from all future employee picnics."

"Why did Hitler make such a bad weatherman? Even when it was rain, he kept yelling ""heil!"""

"Parenting teenagers is easy since they already know everything."

"Bacon and eggs walk into a bar The bartender says ""get out, we don't serve breakfast here"""

"Which part of a vegetable isn't edible? His wheelchair."

"If you only had 1% battery left on your phone, what would you tweet? Because clearly we'd still tweet."

"My friend tried to light a cop car on fire. He threw 99 Bananas..."

"I'm thinking 'FUCK YOU' real loud at the people around me right now & they don't have a clue. I'm owning them so hard & they have no idea."

"How many blonde jokes exist? One. This one. The rest are all true."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a grape? Elephant grape sine theta."