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Joke of the Day

"What does an omnipotent God do with his penis? Fuck all."

"Battered Women Not as delicious as it sounds"

"I saw an all frog production of Frozen yesterday... It was toad-aly cool!"

"Quotes to calm an angry woman: 1. Stress makes you fat. 2. My ex never acted like that. 3. I love you, even if you're just like your mom."

"Billy was a chemist's son/ But now he is no more/ 'Cos what he thought was H20/ Was H2So4."

"Rum: ""Drink me."" Me: ""No, I'll get a hangover."" Rum: ""Nah, you'll get funnier and better looking!"" Me: ""Really?"" *drinks* Rum: ""Sucker."""

"The bra my boyfriend gave me is really uncomfortable. Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest."

"Airlines. Graciously giving you the choice to have feet, or a personal item, but not both."

"The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone."

"What does Santa Claus call his more thuggish elves? Gangsta wrappers!"