152500

Joke of the Day

"""No, no, I said I'm a PEDALPHILE. I'm super into bicycling. So that's a no go on the job now, huh?"""

"I barely slept last night; I kept dreaming about mufflers. I'm exhausted."

"Have you tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they."

"Can someone wake me up when this nightmare is over? *lies on floor, closes eyes tight* (in customer service line at Walmart)"

"On TV shows, answering machines are actually saying leave a message after the fuck."

"Why are redneck murders so hard to solve? There's no dental records and all the DNA matches"

"Sawing a hole in the bottom of a table to steal someone's cake is way harder than it looks on cartoons."

"How do you break up with a farmer long-distance? A John Deere letter."

"A Frenchman is buying a bread stick and the cashier asks.. ""are you okay carrying this loaf?"" to which he replies ""baguette""."

"Tasted the best Borscht ever! It'll be hard to beet."