158283

Joke of the Day

"Can someone wake me up when this nightmare is over? *lies on floor, closes eyes tight* (in customer service line at Walmart)"

"First Caribou: What well-known cartoon character do moths like a hole lot? Second Caribou: Micky Moth!"

"Not much of a ""First Aid"" kit if it doesn't have peanut butter in it."

"What did R. Kelly say to the teenage girl fan? Urine for a surprise."

"My wife wants to meet new people & have fun, so she made me join a Bridge Club.... ...I jump off next Tuesday"

"""You can be anything!"" Okay I'm going to be Kanye west ""Josh that's not what I meant"" Shhhh *puts my finger to her lips* It's Kanye now"

"Baby I'm no weather man but you can expect a few inches tonight "

"Hi! This is my first time in a Fitness Center. How do I start? Personal Trainer: By putting down that Pizza slice!"

"Musician Joke Q. How many female jazz vocalists does it take to perform ""Summertime""? A. Fucking all of them, apparently . . ."

"I saw a poor cat down the street So I felt bad and gave it two dollars"