978

Joke of the Day

"On TV shows, answering machines are actually saying leave a message after the fuck."

"I told a joke to my Chemistry teacher. He replied ""Oh man, I slapped my neon that one"""

"ME: *to friend* you're dumb as a box of rocks lol BOX OF ROCKS: *putting finishing touches on his astrophysics thesis* dude"

"A billionaire has a billion dollars. A millionaire has a million dollars. What do you call a person with ten dollars? A college student."

"I am black and my son stole my wallet. I don't know If I'm proud or mad."

"Why did the Redditors like when a tornado hit a fence? There was a lot of reposting to do"

"I think it's disgusting that women only make 70 cents to every dollar a man makes It should be at least 80"

"The Golden Globe goes to... Burrito ... for best actor in a microwave, with a convincing performance of taking longer than necessary."

"you're all like ""haha interpretive dance what a humorous concept"" until you see a professional do it then you shit yourself with wonder"

"Butter and Blonde"