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Joke of the Day

"How do you kill a hipster? Drown him in the main stream. A hipster actually told me this one."

"HAHAHA...sorry....dont hate me Donald Trump....enough said"

"Q: Bill Hillary and Al are in a boat. The boat sinks. Who is saved? A: The United States of America."

"Brb taking my potted plant for a walk ""And that is tha sunshine, and this is another plant, you guys can't be friends he lives outside"""

"I have so much uneaten hummus in my refrigerator, it's borderline racist."

"I'm starting to think that the gym isn't really for me. I went this morning and laid down on the mat to do some sit-ups. I woke up 2 hours later."

"Me: sorry I can't go to the farmer's market with you. Allergies. Friend: pollen? Me: hipsters."

"Whats the last thing to go through a bugs mind as it hits the windshield of your car? Its asshole."

"YOU KNOW THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PAUL WALKER AND MY COMPUTER? I ACTUALLY GIVE A FUCK WHEN MY COMPUTER CRASHES."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when they are put in the oven!"