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Joke of the Day

"If Russia attacked Turkey from the rear... Would Greece Help?"

"Just burned 2000 calories That's the last time I'll leave brownies in the oven while I nap"

"So some Mexican lady named Patricia listened to the new Adele and cried so much she's flooding Mexico"

"Had a summer job helping to make art out of elephant dung. It was pretty shit."

"[Me as an Italian language translator] Police: Ask him where the money is hidden. Me: Spaghetti tortellini Benghazi Fibonacci cappuccino."

"A DJ that's a cat! So cute! But you know what's not cute? *clicks to next slide* Our reliance on rapidly depleting fossil fuels."

"Why did the fish fall off it's bike? It's a fish."

"*panics during bank robbery* ""Uhhhh hi yeah I'd like to put this gun in my safety deposit box"""

"If Donald Trump becomes president, and Boris Johnson becomes UK's PM... It'll be like toupees in a pod."

"My favourite kind of pain; is in my stomach when people make me laugh too hard."