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Joke of the Day

"Lightbulbs in Magaluf What type of lightbulbs go clubbing in Magaluf*? LEDs (*Note for any US viewers Magaluf is a popular destination in Spain for Brits that go on massive drinking/clubbing holidays)"

"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of it's paws, a comma is a pause at the end of a clause."

"Below is an email that I sent to a certain presidential candidate a few months back: [deleted]"

"""do you have dailysex?"", John received a text... ""Oh idneed, I hvae dyselxia. Hwo did yuo konw?"""

"What type of missiles were used in the Movie Top Gun? ""Tom"" Cruise Missiles."

"Hey guys, remember that one time, when Clinton was president and gas was a like a $1 a gallon and people had money and jobs and shit?"

"What do you call it when a hobbit lives in the ghetto? Worcestershire"

"Where does the Joker keep a record of his favourite shrubland areas? Heath Ledger."

"My new hobby is sitting outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say ""You can see me?"""

"Why did the Chicken Cross the Basketball Court? He Heard the Ref was Blowing Fouls"