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Joke of the Day

"Had a summer job helping to make art out of elephant dung. It was pretty shit."

"HEY OSAMA I FOUND YOUR 72 VIRGINS THEY ARE ALL ON MY TIMELINE TALKING ABOUT STAR WARS"

"Scientists are attempting to clone Ice Age Cave Lions because running into a raccoon when I take out the trash isn't scary enough."

"Most effective way to remember your wife's Birthday Question : What is the most effective way to remember your wife's Birthday? Answer: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again. :D"

"A lot of people make a big deal about age differences in couples. As far as I'm concerned a girl is fair game as soon as she's finished school. So usually at about 3:15"

"What's your least favorite joke format and why is it this one?"

"Doctor Doctor you've taken out my tonsils my adenoids my gall bladder my varicose veins and my appendix but I still don't feel well. That's quite enough out of you!"

"I haven't spoken to my girlfriend in months. I don't want to interrupt her."

"Wife: It's time for a vacation. Me: Where do YOU want to go? Wife: Hmm... Maybe the Bahamas? Me: Great idea! And, I'LL go camping upstate!"

"Did you hear about the new circumcision clinic opening up? I hear the doctors only work for tips."