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Joke of the Day

"If Donald Trump becomes president, and Boris Johnson becomes UK's PM... It'll be like toupees in a pod."

"So Nicole Scherzinger has gone from Lewis Hamilton to Ed Sheeran... Guess orange really is the new black."

"where did the lone ranger take his trash to? to the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump."

"How can you tell when an Italian car has a flat tire? Dago wop wop wop"

"*on time travel bus* oh you're going back to kill hitler? uh yeah totally, me too *pulls jacket over spice girls world tour '98 t shirt*"

"What do you call a bra? A boobie trap. Thanks 3rd grade nephew."

"As a kid, I put snowballs in the blender to make a slushy. Snowballs was a good cat..."

"FRIEND: Australia has 9 of the 10 world's deadliest snakes ME: OMG ONE ESCAPED?!"

"Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're brave enough."

"It's cute how alcohol comes in a paper bag so when you hit rock bottom you have something to hyperventilate into."