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Joke of the Day

"Why is horse racing so romantic? Because the horse hugs the rails the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye!"

"I have a joke about minidisc... ...but it's a little CD."

"Hi..You've reached my voicemail. I could come to the phone right now but I saw your name on caller ID so leave a message..or not."

"After #Brexit, the pound crashed... ...it's down to ten ounces."

"If there was a competition for saggy tits, my wife would beat everyone. In fact, she'd wipe the floor with them."

"A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th Grade. Which one is the sexiest? The blonde, because she's the only one who's 18."

"I got aids in prison.. Hearing aids. I should've used them though, I might've been able to hear the guy that snuck up on me in the shower and gave me HIV."

"What comes in pairs? seeds"

"What is Bernie Sanders' LEAST favorite band? SWV (sisters with voices)"

"Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to."