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Joke of the Day

"What kind of blowjob does a screwdriver give? Flathead"

"The other day I held the door open for a clown I thought it was a nice jester."

"I got a new job crushing cans... It's so depressing..."

"Why are the only kids in Warsaw magnet schools from Central Poland? Cause North and South Poles repel each other ..."

"As a kid, I used to think $5,000 was a lot of money. But now that I'm an adult, I think it's a tremendous amount of money."

"I heard that the factories in China will be close until the next GOP president. A liberal joke"

"A teacher, in an attempt to get more enthusiasm from her students, asked them to write a summary of a baseball game. Within minutes, the first one was handed in. It read, ""Rain. No game today."""

"I think Argentina is quite capable of deciding who it wants to cry for. Stop being so bossy Eva."

"""Every family on 2013 had 'quite the year'."" - study conducted using Christmas newsletters"

"Why did the gay necropheliac stop by the morgue on his way home? He wanted to suck down a few cold ones after work."