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Joke of the Day

"What`s the difference between a Doctors Without Borders hospital and ISIS? How would I know, I`m just a US Air Force Operator."

"Today I saw two little kids fighting. As the only adult nearby, I had to step in. Those kids didn't stand a chance."

"Why would you never starve in the desert? Because of all the sandwiches there."

"Such a double standard that when a guy sleeps with a ton of people he's ""cool,"" but when I do I'm ""lying"""

"Some Muslims were having an argument on my street the other day... I wanted to step in, but I was afraid it would blow up in my face."

"A few weeks ago my dad decided he was going to order pizza from his iPad. He's almost finished."

"My friend once said, ""If I wasn't making cocktails, I'd be a criminal."" Now he's behind bars."

"I was this close to having a threesome last night... Just needed two more people."

"What does Beyonce eat food out of? An IrreplacaBOWL."

"What did you get for your birthday? Another year!"