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Joke of the Day

"A paraplegic gets hired to play a lead role in a horror film The Silence of The Limbs"

"*turns up to a yoga class in full Master Yoda costume* ""Oh dear. Misread the flyer, I have."""

"Birds that have mating rituals... I bet they just wing it."

"What happens when you give Sigmund Freud and Oedipus a bunch of cocaine? A mother fucking awesome party."

"How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose? 2 calves, an ass, a beaver, a whole bunch of hairs, and a fish that you just can't seem to find"

"Lord of the Rings marathon -Do you know what a Lord of the Rings marathon is? -Yes -But do you know what a Lord of the Rings triathlon is? -No? -That's when you watch all three of them"

"The #1 Killer of cats aged 14+ is feline AIDS. However, the #1 Killer of people aged 60+ is.... Hearing AIDS."

"It's not that the man didn't know how to juggle. He just didn't have the balls to do it"

"The phrase ""Getting nickeled and dimed"" hasn't kept up with inflation... We're definitely getting dollared now."

"Scientists have recently discovered a virus that increases the apathy of those infected. No one seems to care."