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Joke of the Day

"A man is having trouble in bed, so he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him he's going to need to stop masturbating. ""Why?"" the man asks. ""So I can examine you"", the doctor replies."

"My internet's signal always lose connection Just like my ex wife"

"Think of a number. Realize that number will never think of you too. Lay on your bathroom floor and sob."

"HELLO POLICE, MY SON JUST TAUGHT CUT TO A LEGENDARY POKEMON I WANT HIM TRIED AS AN ADULT"

"If you're looking for something fun and exciting to do, why not try anti-gravity? It never lets me down!"

"Next on CNN, 600 hours of guessing what happened to a plane."

"Grammar joke I told my girlfriend ""sweetie, I want you beside me, in front of me,behind me, on top of me, under me, and to the left and right of me"" she said ""Honey, are you prepositioning me?"""

"I was walking in a cemetery this morning and I saw a guy hiding behind a gravestone. I said ""morning."" He replied, ""No, just having a shit."""

"Who were the first people not to read the apple ToC? Adam and Eve"

"The pessimist in me says 'the glass is half empty'... The optimist in me says 'at least it's whiskey'."