151896

Joke of the Day

"[Man in restaurant] I'll have that lobster please. *points to aquarium containing lobster putting finishing touches to his octopus disguise*"

"What do you say upon hearing a bad Halloween joke? Booooooo, Booooooo"

"How do you guys tweet from the toilet? I poop with both hands."

"What did Bill Cosby call Donald Trump? A rookie."

"Whats the difference between Donald Trump and a Vacuum? Nothing. Both are really loud, and full of shit."

"Dawn's coming over. ""Dawn from work, or crazy Dawn?"" *Dawn walks in* ""WELL WELL WELL, if it isn't the lady I'm framing for murder."

"My brother and I both like our women like our coffee... He likes them hot and black. I like them cold and bitter."

"Having trouble making friends? Just tell a girl you love her and her first reaction is to say lets just be friends."

"Why are Peter Pan's jokes not funny? Because they Neverland"

"Hi, my name is Typo! It's spelled 'Tpyo'."