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Joke of the Day

"Throwing acid is wrong... ...in some people's eyes."

"When God made raccoons he was like do you want to be an old timey burglar or a trash digger. Too slow. You're both now."

"My friend fell into a vat of chemicals. Ironically, it was his quick reaction that killed him."

"How do they make Holy Water? They boil the hell out of it."

"The baby's trying to eat the poinsettia again Well, maybe we should get rid of it The plant? But we just got it . . .Haha yeah, the plant"

"Pool Went for a swim in one of those infinity pools earlier...couldn't finish a length :-("

"Whoever got my Steam account for Christmas plz realize those Japanese dress up games are for research only, I don't enjoy them. Plz understa"

"What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him? I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit"

"In Soviet Russia, no one make comments on r/jokes Because in Soviet Russia, real comment is always in joke"

"What do you call an effeminate Japanese man with radiation sickness, AIDS and hemorrhegic fever? Ebola Gay."