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Joke of the Day

"What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him? I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit"

Next Joke
 
"Barista: Name? Me: Lotta Sexhaver *wink* *Time passes* Barista: Got a latte for Virgin McLiar"
"I like my women like I like my coffee... [Fill in the blank]"
"I may have Alzheimer's... ... but at least I don't have Alzheimer's!"
"man...im so hungry i could- *i catch eye contact with a horse* ""you could what?"" *shows his gun* i could.. eat a sandwich ""thought so."""
"I gave my baby a teething toy so she would stop chewing on my fingers. She wasn't interested because it didn't scream out in pain."
"[dog wedding] [Bride throws bouquet into crowd] [Groom catches it, gives it back to Bride] [Bride throws bouquet again] [Groom catches.."
"My grandpa would always tell me ""You're my favorite granddaughter"" I was his only granddaughter."
"My dad says he hates surprises... So I wrapped all his Christmas presents in cellophane."
"What does a paedophile like to do while on vacation? Get some son."
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