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Joke of the Day

"If I could be any X-Men I think I'd pick Professor X. Don't really care about the mind-reading stuff I just hate walking."

"Clinton's blue firewall... About as secure as her private email server."

"Q: Why don't men fake orgasm? A: Coz no man would pull those faces on purpose."

"Clever Commas If your Uncle Jack helped you get off an elephant, would you help your uncle, jack off an elephant."

"Why are homeless people always laughing? Because they crack themselves up!"

"Mulder: we're trapped with ghosts in the stomach of a metal worm. Scully: those are just people, Mulder. We're on a train."

"Did you see the story about the psychic dwarf escaping prison? The headline was ""Small medium at large""."

"Doctor: Did you take the patient's temperature? Nurse: No. Is it missing?"

"New reality show. Put the commenters from YouTube videos in a house with the commenters from Yahoo Answers. Burn the house down."

"What do you call a woman with an opinion? Wrong."