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Joke of the Day

"How do you recognize a rich ethiopian? He only wears Rolex around his waist."

"""Dad, these glasses make everything look much bigger!"" *Snatches glass and hands to my wife"

"Nephew: Were the scorpions around when there were dinosaurs? Me: You mean like the band?"

"Me: I think the coolest sport is horse golf Guy: do you mean polo? Me: [realizing he isn't classy enough to know about horse golf] yes"

"What's a pirate's least favorite letter? A letter from an ISP saying they've been downloading illegally."

"What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker? Your job still sucks"

"A carnival worker plans to sue after recently being fired. His lawyers say it is a clear case of funfair dismissal."

"BRUCE LEE: Be formless, shapeless, like water. HARPER LEE: Things are never as bad as they seem. PARSLEY: I am a stalk vegetable."

"Did you know that gullible is the only English word that is not in the dictionary? I'm serious, it isn't. Go look it up and see for yourself."

"If girls be trippin' as much as I'm told they are... They should go to the doctor to see if they have an ear infection."