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Joke of the Day

"I track my calories religiously every day. First they are on my plate and then I put them in my mouth"

"Movie theater employees have 2 ages: 17 104"

"""I don't belong here"" - dreadlock on a white guy"

"Coworker: What a crazy weekend! Me: *takes a knee* CW: What are you doing? M: Protesting this conversation."

"People never point out how awesome Meth is for weight loss."

"A book fell on my head the other day, I only have my shelf to blame"

"Sometimes I enjoy my steak undercooked, but that's rare."

"If European in the bathroom, who's the guy on the floor? Himalayan"

"The hardest part of parenting is standing idly by while your children build a mediocre couch fort."

"I hope there's a magazine for cool college bros called ""Frattitude."""