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Joke of the Day

"This soup tastes funny Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?"

"Microwaves don't need to give warning beeps after cooking the food - the last thing I'm going to do is forget I just made pizza rolls."

"I showed my family facebook a few years ago, and haven't heard from them since. Best decision ever"

"I milked the cow ""We don't have a cow"" the neighbors' cow then ""Their cat?"" Pretty sure it was a cow he was saying moo ""Meow"" Ah shoot"

"Girls are like dead babies... There's several in my basement"

"Fart when people hug you...it makes them feel strong."

"First guy to invent a bread bowl was like ""I'm gonna rip the top of this muffin & pour soup in it"""

"What do fat people do in the summer? Stink"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Lukewarm and bitter."

"Some people live life in the fast lane. You're in oncoming traffic."