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Joke of the Day

"Flight Attendant: ""Would you like some headphones?"" Me: ""How did you know my name is Phones?"""

"i can confirm that Somali pirates have intercepted my shipment of 20,000 glossy 8x10 headshots and are using them for vile purposes"

"How are Michael Jackson and McDonalds similar? They both put 40 year old meat in between 8 year old buns."

"What's an avocado's favorite music? Guac N' Roll"

"Why shouldn't you make jokes about dwarves giving fellatio? It's a bit of a low blow..."

"Diarrhea is actually hereditary. It runs in your jeans."

"An opinion without 3.14 Is just an onion... DEEP"

"Adult: If it ain't broke don't fix it Child: If it ain't breakable, not interested"

"I grew up in a town made from wool It was a real close-knit community."

"I want to die of natural causes like being stabbed to death by a rainforest."