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Joke of the Day

"There r three things i hate Pessimism. Hypocrisy. And the world."

"Where's the best place to go on the first date? All the way"

"I want to do for the unibrow what Hitler did for the little moustache."

"Do you know a good veterinarian? Got asked this by a friend the other day. Hey, do you know a good veterinarian? <he starts flexing his muscles> 'cause these puppies are SICK."

"How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None, he fell."

"I gave a melon a vasectomy. Now it can't elope"

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair Virgin Mobile"

"A kid asks if they had colors in the 1930s. Yeah, but you didn't see them all the way in the back of the bus."

"guy at seaworld: ""it's a cross between an eel and a shark, we're asking everyone to pick a name for him"" wife: ""steve"" me: ""sharkeel o'neal"""

"What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquitos stops sucking after you fucking slap it"