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Joke of the Day

"If a woman repeats what you just said in the form of a question, you'll be dead soon."

"What kind of fruit can't get married? A Cantleope"

"What do successful businessmen and aids patients have in common They both take risks and get positive results"

"I shouldn't type Reddit posts on my phone. The autocorrect is my worst enema."

".@LAPD My wife made hazelnut ""coffee"" with my coffee maker. Send all available units."

"My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004"

"Sorry, but Apple making driverless cars isn't breaking news. It's been going on ever since they introduced the iPhone."

"People who try to test my patience don't realize it's an exam I don't plan on passing."

"Why can't you have military coup in Russia? Because in Russia the military coups you."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? ""Sorry, it's going to take me a while to get hard, I got laid last night."""