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Joke of the Day

"the fact that im 29 and buttholes and poop are still really funny to me says more about the staying power of buttholes than it does about me"

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"The artist jumped from a bridge, carrying all of his favorite paints and pastels. At least he passed with flying colors."
"JACOB MARLEY: 3 ghosts will visit you! ME: do u count? JM: what ME: you're a ghost. Do u count? JM: dude this the kinda shit they don't like"
"How does gravity greet itself? It just waves"