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Joke of the Day

"They discovered a new mummy in an Egyptian pyramid. He was found wrapped in chocolate and golden foil. They believe his name is Pharaoh Rocher."

"OK I GOT TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS WHOLE HILLARY EMAILS THING. TURNS OUT THEYRE LIKE A FAST KIND OF MAIL THAT GOES IN THE COMPUTER."

"What did the seahorse say to the fat man? ""You're fat!"""

"How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool? ""Please get out of the pool."""

"I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims."

"Most women have a love hate relationship with their scale, but I'm convinced mine goes out of her way to piss me off."

"Aaanndd I've just been peed on. Were I Tila Tequila I'd have met 1 of my New Years resolutions before the clock had even struck midnight"

"Google just called, they want to put a camera on your mom... ... they heard she makes it around the block faster than their street view cars."

"Why doesn't the queen's farts smell? Because it's a noble gas."

"I thought I'd tell you a good time travel joke... but you didn't like it."