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Joke of the Day

"[anniversary dinner] HER: tell me something that will make my heart race ME: my credit card got declined"

"A ""good parenting"" blog followed me. Should I let them know how long ago that ship sailed?"

"""It's not a colonoscopy, it's a colonoscpportunity!"" - gastroenterologist who is also a motivational speaker"

"Boobies Teehehehhe"

"Harry says to Hermione: ""Hey Hermione, guess how I got my dick to be 12 inches?"" Hermione sarcastically responds: ""I don't know Harry... Magic?"" Harry: ""I folded it in half."""

"Who is the best Podracer in Star Wars? Michael Chewbacca EDIT: Some people don't get the joke..... Michael schumacher is a F1 race car driving legend. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Schumacher"

"There are two hats on a hanger... The broken one says to the other: ""You go on a head..."""

"""Daddy what is a transvestite?"" ""Ask Mommy, he knows."""

"Serial Killer What Do You call a man that breaks into a neighbor's house to stab Cereal boxes? A Cereal Killer!"

"How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw bananas at her."