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Joke of the Day

"Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday? Harry: Sure. It's a great present but I just can't find the words to thank you enough."

"Find someone to make you laugh everyday and if that doesn't work find alcohol like I did."

"I was in a near-sex experience. My wife flashed before my eyes."

"What's the most annoying joke in the world?"

"Turn your proctologist into a magician by stuffing 45 feet of scarves in your butt."

"I buy my own f*cking lemons because you know what? life doesn't hand anyone anything for free."

"I saw a rabbi blessing food while golfing. I mentioned that it seemed strange, but he told me it's parve for the course."

"FRIEND: Make sure you walk her to her car [hours later after date] HER: It's been 18 miles ME: I insist HER: But you drove both of us"

"Brazil's congress. thats the joke, folks..."

"My mom just sent me a friend request on Facebook. This Is a typical ""no right answer"" type of situation."