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Joke of the Day

"Find someone to make you laugh everyday and if that doesn't work find alcohol like I did."

"Why are you being weird about how we made eye contact and both smiled and then I took the form of an actual bat and chased you for 11 miles"

"In our football match today the opposition hit the bar three times in the first half. I know we're not very good but they could have at least waited until the end to celebrate."

"What do you call a stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want to - it can't here you!"

"What do GTA and the third Reich have in common? If you have a star, you are getting chased."

"Steve would be a terrible name for a pegasus."

"Why do Apes like tall buildings? They want to climb the heights of the business world!"

"I have an outstanding warrant for loitering. *I don't know why my brain thought this was the funniest joke to replay during my sleep this morning but it made me wake up giggling."

"Did you hear about the Mexican painter who lost two fingers? After the incident, he could only tres."

"A blonde is at the diner A blonde is at a diner and when the waitress comes to take the order, the blonde reads the name tag out loud: 'Debbie, how sweet.... what do you call the other one?'"